Questions for Introspection

Dear Young Tim,

Happy Halloween!

I know this month has been more cruel trick than pleasant treat.

Of course, in such circumstances, pay attention to your problems. However, maintain self-control. Hold on (to the handlebars of your life). Work when you’re excited or when you need to work. Sleep when you are weary, and do not let your pride ruin your peace. Sleep consistently.

Once we’re well rested, we’ll want to ask ourselves how we got into our problem situations and how we will resolve them.

To help, this note follows up on last month’s causal graph for introspection. Here’s the graph once more, for memory.

Today’s post lists some questions that may be useful for directing our thinking about each node. The question structure tracks the “user-story” format (GIVEN-WHEN-THEN), which we use to organize the nodes in the introspection graph. Since last month’s entry explained the rationale behind each node and behind the user story format in general, let’s get straight to the questions!

Note, here, I only question the “THEN” and “WHEN” portions of the graph. I’ll supply questions for the “GIVEN” portion of the graph in the future. May these questions be of use to you and to others, and until next dispatch— good luck!

Post-decision feelings (i.e. “Then”)

Description

  • “What problem am I experiencing?”
  • “What are all of my feelings right now, emotionally?”
    (See here, here, and here for diagrams and lists for inspiration.)
  • “What are all of my feelings right now, physically?”
  • “What physical behaviors am I displaying?”
  • “What happened just before I started feeling this way?”
  • “What was I thinking or saying to myself just before feeling this way?”

Labelling, chunking, analysis

  • “What (emotional/cognitive) parts of us are active right now? What parts of our body feel this activation?”
  • “For each emotional/cognitive part of us that is activated, i.e. experiencing intense physical feelings:”
    • “What is that part’s earliest memory? / What’s the earliest memory where you felt this way or were in this or similar situations?”
    • “How old were you at the time of this earliest memory?”
    • “What does this part want to do?”
    • “What does this part believe, think, or say?”
    • “What is the positive intent of this part and its feelings?”
    • “What does this part need?”
    • “What role does this part and its feelings play in our internal family system?”
    • “What is this part’s name (if there is a name for it)?”
  • “For each part of us that is activated and desiring behaviors that we see as globally unhelpful, what other parts are they protecting?”
  • “Are we experiencing any feelings / parts that are polarized or wanting opposing things?”
  • “What parts of us are stopping us from ‘socially undesirable’ acts?”
  • “What parts of us are encouraging us to engage in ‘socially promoted acts’?”
  • “What connects the activating event for this moment’s undesired feelings with the origin story for each active exile (i.e. activated parts of us with emotional wounds, especially from childhood)?”

Immediate response

  • “What do I want to feel right now, emotionally?”
  • “What do I want to feel right now, physically?”
  • “How can we give the emotionally wounded and activated parts of us some of what they need right now?”
  • “How can I activate the parts of me with the emotional and behavioral traits I wish to display/use in this situation?”
  • “What are the next-best emotional states that we can transition to, for example, e.g. fear -> excitement / useful anger?”
  • “How can I immediately activate appropriately good feelings?” (For example, appreciating a robust challenge.)

Events causing feelings (i.e. “When”)

Definitions

  • “What decisions are we making that are leading to our consequences/outcomes?”
  • “What circumstances / external factors are leading to our consequences?”
  • “What are our primary consequences or outcomes?” “I.e., what directly results from our decisions?”
  • “What are our secondary consequences or outcomes?” “I.e., what do our primary consequences lead to?”

Data-collection

  • “When do our primary consequences result or materialize, especially in relation to our decisions or circumstances?”
  • “When do our secondary consequences result or materialize, especially in relation to our primary consequences, decisions, or circumstances?”
  • “What happens externally (if anything), just before our primary consequences materialize?”
  • “What happens externally (if anything), just before our secondary consequences materialize?”
  • “What do we think or feel (if anything), just before our primary consequences materialize?”
  • “What do we think or feel (if anything), just before our secondary consequences materialize?”
  • “Where do our primary and secondary consequences occur, metaphorically, procedurally, and/or geographically?”
  • “How severe are each of the primary and secondary consequences that occur?”

Hypothesis generation

Past

  • “Why (briefly, perhaps in the form of a y-statement) did we make the decisions we made?”
  • “Why do we believe the circumstances that we faced occurred, especially interpersonally?”
  • If the situation involves others:
    • “What might the other people’s feelings be, and what are all the ways that we can validate these predictions?”
    • “What might the other people’s beliefs be, and what are all the ways that we can validate these predictions?”

Future

  • “What primary or secondary consequences do we wish we were experiencing?”
    • “What feelings do we hope these alternative consequences will lead to?”
    • “What needs do we hope to meet by achieving these alternative consequences?”
    • “What goals can most swiftly make these alternative consequences a reality?”
    • “What immediate tasks are necessary to achieve those goals?”
  • “What alternative decisions could we make in the future?” Brainstorm MANY alternatives.
  • “What alternative circumstances could occur in the future?”

Counterfactual

  • “What counterfactual primary outcomes and secondary outcomes could the alternative circumstances produce, holding our decisions constant?”
  • “What counterfactual primary outcomes and secondary outcomes could our alternative decisions produce, holding our circumstances constant?”
  • “Do any combinations of alternative decisions AND alternative circumstances, lead to desirable, predicted counterfactual primary and secondary outcomes?”

Interpersonal

  • “Who can help us achieve the primary and secondary outcomes we desire?”
  • “Who is in a similar situation that I could reasonably offer help to?”
  • “Who is in a similar situation that I could learn from and collaborate with?”
  • “Who has the most similar story to us in terms of progressing from a similar current state to any better state? What can I learn from them?”
  • “Who has the most similar story to us in terms of progressing from a similar current state to a worse state? What from them can I learn to avoid?”
  • “Who has a life trajectory that resulted in primary and secondary outcomes that are closest to those I desire? What can I learn from them?”